As a public service, I must warn you

I have received numerous accounts of people who, upon starting to read THE LIFE & TIMES OF AN INCORRIGIBLE, have been unable to put it down.

Other side effects such as laughing out loud in public and crying intermittently have also been reported.

Since this book is available online almost everywhere, in Kindle, Nook, Hardcover, and Paperback, please see this information receives the widest dissemination possible.

Thank you for your time.

http://amazon.com/author/robertsjerry

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Author’s Insight

This book is not a book about “see how great I am”, but rather; about how great my life has been.

My writing style is that of a storyteller & not the polished author with elegant prose. Almost everyone who has commented on my books has said basically the same thing; they felt like I was there telling them the story in person.

If you want to read a book that makes you laugh, maybe cry, but always be entertained read this book.

Here are some comments from people who have read it;

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“Damn Drill Sgt. Got to reading your book and couldn’t put it down. Just finished it. Loved it!! Now I need to get the other one.” 

“I have to say you know how to paint a picture. I can see your childhood and school, and all that without you having to hold my hand. That’s great, as it makes for an easy read. It feels like I’m sitting in the room with you and you’re telling me a story.”

“…A great mix of funny, seriousness, history & truth…”

“I just finished your book and it was GREAT!!!! I liked how you ended it with tales of your dogs but I have to say you have had one hell of a Life!!!!”

“I really like the style and the attitude of it. I’m enjoying the story very much! I like how you are wide open about your perception of your life.” 

“I read the whole thing. It is wonderful. I laughed out loud so much my granddaughter thinks I am crazy. It made me cry, I’m really sorry about your Emy. I know I have never actually heard your voice, but I swear Jerry I could “hear” you throughout that book. I cannot tell you what a wonderful storyteller you are. I can’t wait to get your other books. It really is a great book!!!”

http://amazon.com/author/robertsjerry

My Former Life as a Tweeter on Twitter

When I first joined the Twitter world, my perception was that of a man standing over an abyss shouting profanities, and profundities into the wind.

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Apparently, there were an adequate amount of both to cause people to notice.

To my great surprise, I began to hear echoes of my thoughts through re-tweets.

Granted, some were paraphrased to make them more palatable to the general public, but still my thoughts.

Simultaneously, complete strangers were “following” me.

I hadn’t factored that into the equation, at least at that point and to be honest, I was not quite sure how to proceed.

Some were Grunts (Infantry), to which I immediately returned their follow, it’s a brotherhood.

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Although I explained in no uncertain terms I was not trying to see how many people I could get to follow me, the follows kept coming.

As always, there were the idiots, and the people who feel they are more intelligent and enlightened then the rest of us, who dared to desecrate my time line, often with incoherent and irrelevant comments.

Those were immediately blocked.

Although in theory, I should have been able to vent my thoughts into that great void called “internet” without notice, but the reality is, nothing goes by completely unnoticed.

There are consequences, both good and bad, for all our actions.

The upside of my “great experiment” was that I was able to interact with many interesting people that I would never have met otherwise.

Also, I was able to tell people about my new book, and receive some great feedback in the way of reviews and online marriage proposals.

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The down side was that, after about a year, I began to feel a need to live up to expectations of my followers.

I was no longer just purging random thoughts. It was that realization that lead me to leave twitter.

I am, after all, only human and adulations can be very seductive.

With almost three thousand “followers’ I left Twitter only to return after six months, and start over from the begining.

I have begun to realize the addictiveness of the internet.

I have done this now three or four times, and to be honest, I really don’t know how long I’ll last this time, but for now, I’m a recovering former tweeter.

DocDog

http://amazon.com/author/robertsjerry

THE LIFE & TIMES OF AN INCORRIGIBLE Excerpt

To this day I still don’t know how I survived my childhood. The kid across the street was always getting into something he wasn’t supposed to and I was always the willing accomplice. Almost all of our dastardly deeds involved bikes.

My obsession with anything fast started at six or seven years old. When I got my first bike, one of the first things I did was change the sprocket to make it go faster. Even back then I think the term “adrenaline junky” could have been applied when referring to me.

On a summer day you could always find ten to twenty kids at the school outdoor basketball court. They were not there to play ball but to race bikes on the cement courts. There were about six courts across a rectangle-shaped area.

We ranged in age from about eight to fourteen, dressed in shorts and tennis shoes – or no shoes – racing around that track as fast as we could peddle.

Wrecking was not a case of if, but when. There was always a lot of blood before it was over.

The rules were that there were no rules. I learned several important life lessons; one of which was: second place is just first loser.

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Hickory Smoke

Today as I was standing over my BBQ, with tears in my eyes, it occurred to me that Hickory smoke is one of my all-time greatest smells in the world. It’s kinda hard on the old eyes, but it has a smell that my brain automatically associates with the best BBQ on the planet.

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I believe that Hickory is something the good Lord created for the sole purpose of southern BBQ.

In full disclosure, I must admit to liking Mesquite for chicken, but for any good BBQ, even chicken, you just can’t go wrong with Hickory.

That my friends, is not open for discussion.

So, don’t waste my time trying to argue about it with me.

I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!

Except for you commie bastards and terrorist; I hope y’all fuckin die.

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Life is good on LZ Jerry

Excerpt from; THE LIFE & TIMES OF AN INCORRIGIBLE

The first few days in the Army are the most demeaning experience most people will ever go through in their life. Once you get past those first few days though things change; they get worse.

After what seemed like weeks – but was in reality only a few days – I was processed and issued uniforms and boots. I had a uniform; I was starting to look like a soldier.

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We all got shots in both arms for God-only-knows what diseases. The shots were administered with a pneumatic gun that worked on compressed air. We were in a single file line with our sleeves rolled up. One medic stood on either side and they issued the shots simultaneously. After I got my shots, I started to leave and one of the medics said, “Hey come back here”. I turned around and went back. The medic looked at my arm and then pointed the gun at the wall and pulled the trigger. We all watched in amazement as a stream of fluid shot about ten feet across the room and splattered on the wall. He then turned back to me and proceeded to shoot me in the same arm again. The medic examined his work, watching as the blood seeped out of the wound, and laughed saying, “I thought it didn’t work because you’re the only one who didn’t bleed”. I somehow failed to see the humor in that. At that point I still wasn’t sure just how much power these guys had. In retrospect, I think a well placed punch to the nose would have been an appropriate response. I still have a scar on my arm to remind me of that day.

The Army duffel bag is a magical thing. When you have put all the things into it that it will hold, your Sergeant will show you that it is only half full. After I was shown my incompetence at packing a duffle bag I – for about the fiftieth time that day – dropped and gave him ten. After going through in-processing, I was put on another bus convoy; this time to Fort Gordon, Georgia. On arrival at the fort, after about a two or three hour ride, I was half asleep and feeling sick from all the shots. When I had been herded on to the bus I was soaked with sweat. The fact that the bus’ air-conditioning was kept at what seemed like fifty degrees did not help matters any. When I was back in the heat, I was really feeling like crap. The good thing was I didn’t have a chance to think about it.

A sergeant greeted us and stood in the door of the bus. He explained that we had “five seconds to un-ass the bus” and that he had used three of them telling us. For the first time in my life I was truly motivated. I was determined not to be the one who got the sergeant’s boot up his ass, as he had threatened. Fear can be a great motivator. After more pushups than I could physically do, and a temporary loss of hearing from being yelled at from close proximity, I had finally arrived at my new home. We were lined up alphabetically and broken into four groups, which I learned are called “Platoons”. We then grabbed our duffel bags and moved at what I also learned was called “double time” to our barracks. If you were not marching to your destination, you were at a double time (running). If there were more than two people in the group, you would get in a formation and one would take charge and march the others to the destination. I always thought two privates being marched by another private looked pretty funny. This was the norm for the next eight weeks. You’ll be surprised to learn that I did a lot of push-ups for getting caught walking.

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Some Friday wisdom to pin on your refrigerator

This is a short list of things I have learned over the years.

Kid’s, life is hard, get over it.

Good judgment comes from experience.

Experience comes from bad judgment.

Authority can be delegated.

Responsibility cannot be delegated.

You can’t demand respect.

Respect must be earned.

Don’t pick a fight with an old man.

If he can’t beat you, he’ll probably just kill you.

And lastly, beware of an old man in a profession where men die young.

I hope you will find something in this that will be helpful.

Just remember; life is good, whether you like it or not.

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Friday on LZ Jerry 05/29/2015 (Humor)

Since it’s Friday again, this old post seemed appropriate.

Yes folks, Friday is upon us once again. Just remember; we are only allocated one per week, so don’t let it go to waste.

I woke up alive this morning and said; thank you Lord for another chance to get it right. The only thing is, I’m pretty sure I’ll screw this one up too.

The LZ, because of all the rain, is due for another cutting of the weeds and the small amounts of grass that persist in growing among them.

It was too wet to cut this morning, so I waited for it to dry. Now it’s just too fuckin hot. Maybe I’ll try to do it late this afternoon when it cools off. Either that or I’ll just sit on the porch with Mack my Black Lab, drink beer, and watch it grow.

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Actually I have fun cutting it because I like to put my 17HP tractor at full throttle and high gear, and try not to run it into the creek or pond. It really goes pretty fast.

I have decided to revive the old Friday tradition of Jerry’s Famous Wings and copious amounts of cold Beer!

 

On a sad note; the box turtle I told you about has fallen prey to the Devouring Period (spring). I found some turtle guts by the pond and some pieces of shell all the way up on the road. It may have been the resident Black Bear who has been unsuccessful at getting into my garbage lately. He sorts my garbage for me by dumping it out on the ground and separating the edible from the non edible, then leaves the non edible for me to clean up.

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It’s just a reminder; our stay on this earth is tenuous at best.

So, although the numerous reports of my demise have always, in the past, been greatly exaggerated, they will, one day, be true.

Until then, I intend to live my life fully.

Life on LZ Jerry is always good!

I still think paper is better

DocDog

I had a computer crash about a month ago, and although I had backup, emergency disc, and everything else, I was still not able to restore my data. I lost about two years of writing, emails, comments from twitter, and notes. I did find the following saved on a disc.

These are some of the comments and reviews I have received on my new book.

Life & Times of an Incorrigible…It is wonderful. I laughed out loud so much my granddaughter thinks I am crazy. It made me cry, I’m really sorry about your Emy. I know I have never actually heard your voice, but I swear Jerry I could “hear” you throughout that book. I cannot tell you what a wonderful storyteller you are…It really is a great book!!! 

I received “The Life & Times of an Incorrigible” today. It is great. I couldn’t put it down…

Life & Times of an Incorrigible…You really have a gift for making a person feel like they are right there with you when you write. I know that I have never actually met you, but I can see your face when you tell someone basically, “too late, I already did that”. I really, really enjoyed your book… 

Life & Times of an Incorrigible…It sounds like you and I could have been twins, the BB gun wars brought back quite a few long forgotten times…

“Life & Times of an Incorrigible” Did it in two days. Good, good, book couldn’t put it down…

Life & Times of an Incorrigible…Your book allows the rest of us the opportunity to live life through your eyes…edge of the envelope without getting cut…

Life & Times of an Incorrigible…Man! That was crazy jumping off that boulder in the middle of the night. Pursuit motivates… 

Life & Times of an Incorrigible…Imagine sitting in a bar and listening to an old soldier tell you about his life. That’s what this book is. It’s funny, sad and profound. Toward the end of the book, Jerry tells us: “In the end, my greatest regret is to never have risen above mediocrity.” He is so wrong. I really enjoyed his story.

“Life & Times of an Incorrigible” If u sleep thru it u probably sleep through sex too. Great fun romp disguised as good read…

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http://amazon.com/author/robertsjerry

 

 

It’s funny, sad and profound

Yes, I admit that I have a morbid curiosity about what people say about my book and who says it. That may sound a little narcissistic but it is, after all, an autobiography.

As I have said many times, my motivation for writing has always been to pass my adventures and sometimes misadventures on to my kids and their kids and maybe their kids also.

The one thing that has surprised me the most is; people who I have never met, like my book for many different reasons. Sometimes when I get comments, I want to stop and make sure they are talking about my book.

Some say it is the “life lessons”, other’s say they like the humor, several have said it gave them a new perspective on life. In all, it seems everyone takes away something different from the book.

When I was on Twitter and Facebook, I received a lot of comments that I wish I had saved, but one stands out as maybe the best; “What a wonderful book”.

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Here are some reviews from Amazon on my latest book;

1. Amazon Customer reviewed The Life & Times of an Incorrigible

A Must-Read, Especially For Our Youth May 11, 2017

A personal perspective of a tough soldier and his life in Vietnam. The funny parts were hysterical and all true! Glad I found this book.

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2. grayce tripodi reviewed The Life & Times of an Incorrigible

Fabulous Read 5 Star May 23, 2016

Hi, Jerry. I had to wait to write this. First, I want to express my deepest condolences on the death of your wife. I was not going to speak of that openly. I enjoyed your book ememsly, oh boy, lucky we were not twins! 😂 Please, take care of yourself. God bless

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3. Gary gamble reviewed The Life & Times of an Incorrigible

G.M. Roberts a great read October 20, 2014

Great book written by a great American

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4. Ann Baker reviewed The Life & Times of an Incorrigible

Thank you for serving, soldier. Thank you for sharing your story August 31, 2014

Jerry begins in South Florida, near where I grew up. You can smell the South Florida salt air, bringing back memories of a simpler time. Before long, nothing is simple, as Jerry finds himself in Vietnam. Having lived through the era, it is especially fascinating to see what it looked like through the eyes of a soldier. After retiring from the Army, Jerry finds his love for diving has become his career. Life is going well when…Read More

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5. Frank J. Becvar reviewed The Life & Times of an Incorrigible

Interesting recollections from a man who has done it all! August 20, 2014

I really enjoyed reading about all the fascinating experiences of the author. Definitely worth a read especially if you are interested in Vietnam War and Panama Canal Zone history.

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6. HotLipsTX reviewed The Life & Times of an Incorrigible

The Life & Times Of an Incorrigible January 5, 2014

I loved how the author shared his life openly. A true American the boy next door! I am so glad he shared his story!

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7. Guy H. Wilson reviewed The Life & Times of an Incorrigible

Great ReaL life Literature! December 20, 2013

I encountered the Author on Twitter and was immediately drawn to his Humor and Down home Knowledge about current events. He provided a very in your face very unapologetic response to life. This tome provides you with the source of his brilliance. It is what he encountered on this voyage called Life. It not only is a must read but it is also the story of a unfortunately dying breed, the American Patriot. G-d Bless Gerry for his…Read More

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8. Gene Killian reviewed The Life & Times of an Incorrigible

Straightforward and honest read – really enjoyed it October 12, 2013

Imagine sitting in a bar and listening to an old soldier tell you about his life. That’s what this book is. It’s funny, sad and profound. Toward the end of the book, Jerry tells us: “In the end, my greatest regret is to never have risen above mediocrity.” He is so wrong. I really enjoyed his story.

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9. J. Barr reviewed The Life & Times of an Incorrigible

2 of 2 people found the following helpful

Wildman Shares His Life…Great, fun read! August 22, 2013

Remember that guy in your neighborhood that all the kids used to think had been special forces, then you’d hear he was a paratrooper at D-Day, then you’d hear he played with C4, then you’d hear he could catch fish…with his teeth, then you’d hear he used to hunt big game with a sharp stick…because it was the only way he thought it was sporting? That’s Jerry!(If you didn’t have that guy in your neighborhood then this books…Read More

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This is my third attempt

SNOWFLAKE WARNING

A few years ago, I decided to start a blog to promote my books.

It sounded like a good idea at the time.

Each time I started a blog, I planned the constraints that would be applied to insure I was showing my books in the best manner.

My problem was, I would stray from the task at hand and do post that didn’t really have much, if anything at all, to do with my books.

This usually occurred on weekends, often after BBQ and several beers. My infantry humor would have me giving my unfiltered perspective on events instead of the books.

Apparently, there were other people who seemed to enjoy the post and began to follow the blog. I was happy to have close to three hundred people following the blog but I realized it was not what I had set out to do.

Now on this, my third attempt, I find myself doing the same thing.

As I thought about it and did a little self-analysis I realized something that should have been obvious to me from the start; my books are true stories about my life and my blog just reflects my personality.

It occurred to me that if someone enjoys my random, sometimes alcohol fueled post, then they will probably enjoy my latest book as well.

So, with that thought in mind, when the urge hits me to promote my book, I will do it depending on how I feel at the time. If, on the other hand, I just feel like sharing whatever random  thought is in my brain at the time; I will do that also.

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I hope this will explain why my other blogs disappeared into the black-hole of the internet.

To the dozen or so brave souls who have chosen to follow this blog; thank you very much!

Please feel free to leave your comments, questions, and snide remarks on my blog.

Have a great day!